So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. [Isaiah 41:10]

These past few days have been hard ones. Getting used to a new normal, or at least a new normal until baby boy is born.

I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 30 weeks, and a few days ago started the 4 times daily finger pricks. I wait with bated breath every time I squeeze a drop of blood from my finger onto the test strip, waiting to see if it's a good or bad number. I feel sorry for myself and cry when I open the fridge and pantry looking at my food choices when all I really want is just a piece of toast (instead of another egg or anything else super healthy lol), but I also know it's not good for me or baby so another egg it is. Every time my glucose levels are higher than what they should be, I feel as if somehow I've failed, even though I know it's not my fault. And even though I know gestational diabetes is different than type 1 or type 2 diabetes and is only temporary compared to a lifelong diagnosis, I still get upset and scared when I hear the word diabetes, because my Dad had (type 1) diabetes and it eventually led to his kidneys failing, and heart failure as well.

I also know that this is just a stumbling block set in my path by the enemy to try and steal my peace and joy, and that I can do all things through our comforter and healer Christ, who strengthens me, but I also know that I'm also not perfect, I'm human and some days, like yesterday and today are just going to be hard. 

I've just got to take it a day at a time, a meal at a time, a finger prick at a time, and a perspective and one decision at a time to not let it get to me when others are going through things much worse and to trust in HIM. To remember that to everything there is a season, and this is just a short season in my story and before I know it, we'll be holding a baby boy in our arms. 

I'll make it through this and I'll declare victory.

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