These past 7 months I've been on a wellness journey, physically, mentally, spiritually. I've struggled, wrestled, fought and questioned all before I gave in. I was weak in all aspects. My mind, my body, my soul. I knew it, and God knew it. Every aspect of my life needed work and healing. I knew God was placing a calling on my life and I was afraid. I've been doing the work, putting in the work. I still have work to do, but God has answered questions, answered a mother's fervent prayers, even though life isn't perfect, he has shown me so many things and I am choosing to trust.
He has instilled a new bravery in me, a fire in my heart, a passion and a Holy anger for the innocent, for the hurting, for the vulnerable. There are still times I question, I ask, God is this what you want, is this really what you're calling me to share, and always I know the answer is the same. A resounding yes, a call to follow, to trust, a life he is calling me, us to. He has been placing words upon my heart and each time, the words come so quickly my fingers can hardly move fast enough to write them down.
So many people who are called to share the things I've felt placed upon my heart to share have been ridiculed, called crazy. The ones bringing dark to light, the ones fighting for freedom, for justice, for the innocent are slandered, made fun of... but if God is for us, then who can stand against us?
My family has chosen to follow a lifestyle that doesn't align with the agenda of mainstream culture. We have been removing things from our life, cultivating our hearts and pruning our lives, looking into the deeper story of so many things, and now my eyes are opened. I cannot go back to sleep now that I have seen the corruption with my own eyes, saw good things laid waste by evil. Saw the masses of humanity call evil good and good evil. Felt the war waging between God and satan, Heaven and hell, Good and evil. Saw how almost every aspect of our modern culture has been infiltrated with new age undertones and satanic symbolism. I will not be fooled by the trickery and lies anymore, and I will be shouting from the rooftops, bringing light and exposing the darkness.
Without Jesus we are all dead men/women walking, we are all blind until He brings us into the light. I spent the first few months of this year weak, questioning, until around mid April, I decided no more. I started strengthening every aspect of my life, my relationships, my soul, my body, my mind. I will forever be working on some aspects, I don't want to stop growing. I don't want to go with the flow, I want to make waves and swim against the current, only dead fish go with the flow. With every pruning comes new life, a new growth and I am a willing vessel. I want my prayer to be "here I am Jesus, use me".
These past few months have shown so undeniably who is for good and who is against good, who is awake and who is asleep, it has shown who has been awoken but refuses to take off the blindfold and to open their eyes to the bright morning light. Life has become so much more freeing since I finally accepted the calling placed on my life. At the end of the day, it will never matter how many followers I had, how many I lose or gain, but if I spoke truth and shared about my Saviour. What good is it to gain the whole world but lose your soul in the process?
At the end of my life, the number of likes I got on each post won't matter, it won't matter if I had 10 followers, 16,000 followers or a million followers on social media, it won't matter if my life appeared picture perfect, my words and actions are the things that are remembered and what will matter, it will matter if I share about Jesus or not, it will matter if I share the important things. My children aren't going to remember if I was liked by the popular people, they'll remember if I raised them right, to be good and kind, if I was a good example and instilled a good moral compass and an unwavering love of Christ in their hearts. They'll remember if I spoke up, and when it comes down to it, I need to be able to tell my children I did not stay silent.
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